Gabba Gabba - Joey Ramone

Kevin asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day. He said "anything you want. It's your day." So of course my response was "visit dead people" Obvi! I started to list out some of the local cemeteries I needed to see and then I thought it would really be cool if we could head up North a bit. I've been dying (no pun intended) to visit Joey Ramone. Much like Nancy Spungen and Gia Carangi, Joey also represents that era of punk rock, freedom, self expression, NYC, CBGBs and good old fashion sex, drugs and Rock n Roll. I always wished I was born 10 years earlier. I just missed my favorite decade....the mid 70's into the early 80's. I was a bit too young to appreciate the energy at the time it was happening, but I did get caught up in it during the late 80s into the 90s. I was retroactively vicariously living in that time through others. If that makes any sense.

Joey Ramone is buried in Hillside Cemetery just over the river from NYC in Lyndhurst, NJ. I was fortunate enough to find exact directions to his grave site on line. The cemetery is huge and there is a separate Jewish section called New Mount Zion. Joey's real name is Jeffry Hyman. He seems to be in a family plot. There were severay Hyman's next to him. The section of their family plot is called "New York Social Club." It was a beautiful Spring day and you can see the NYC skyline from his grave site. I took the whole family with me and then we went over to the city to spend the day. And while I was in the spirit of the Ramones, I also went to the old CBGBs where they started their career. Joey lived around the corner on 2nd Street which was named Joey Ramone Place in 2003.

Joey died on April 15, 2001 of lymphoma. He battled cancer for 7 years. Although I loved the Ramones music, my fondest memories of Joey are when he was on the Howard Stern show and he fought with Marky Ramone. That was some of the best radio in the history of the Stern show. He still gets many visitors to his grave. There were a ton of stones on top of his headstone (Jewis tradition) and some other trinkets like a Ramones button, bracelet, a seashell, a sticker and some notes. Someone wrote in blue ink pen on his headstone "Gabba Gabba". There was also a lip print in red lipstick where the headstone was kissed. It's good to know he is still loved and missed.

RIP Joey

Gabba Gabba

CBGBs now John Varvatos (He is Howard Stern's favorite designer). He kept the original walls with the stickers and grafitti but everything else is new.

This rock "Joey Lives" has been at his grave site for 10 years. You can see it in early pics.

                                                                     

 If you look real close you can see the  NYC Skyline

Never Forget My First - Nancy Spungen

Nancy will always have a place in my heart. She was my first obsession. She represents a time in my life where I felt so liberated. I just completed 8 years at strict Catholic elementary school and started 9th grade at CAPA. The cultural difference was shocking. It was such an artsy free environment. I never met so many cool unique talented people. It really felt like there were no rules. Being different and creative was encouraged. I loved going to school down town and experimenting with my hair and clothes. It was a wonderful time full of amazing memories and Nancy was very prominent in my life. So it was only fitting that I go pay my respects.

I was pretty jazzed to go see visit Nancy’s grave and since she was so near and dear to my heart, like Gia, I wanted to leave her something special. She is in a Jewish cemetery called King David Memorial Park in Bensalem, PA. I knew that in the Jewish culture it is customary to leave a stone or rock at the grave site. I like that tradition. The stones stay put and show that someone had visited. I had some decorative stones in my house and I painted 3 of them to read “RIP ©Nancy”.

I dragged Kevin along with me again and was able to find a map of the cemetery and her plot location after a long search on line. Fortunately I watched a YouTube video that someone posted of their visit to her grave and I was able to spot her section right away. There were benches. As soon as I saw the benches, I knew that was her section. The benches are granite rock benches with the deceased name etched across the front of the seat. They aren’t very common so they stuck out to me. Nancy doesn’t have a bench. Her memorial is a flat marker.  There is a narrow cement pathway that runs down the middle of the row and on one side is the benches and the other the flat markers. It was very weird walking down the cement path. I was following the exact footsteps of the woman on the YouTube video and probably thousands of others who felt that perhaps they didn’t belong there but had to go anyway.  I turned around and Kevin was back by the car smoking a cigarette. I said “you are smoking in the cemetery?” He said “It’s Nancy, she would be smoking too.” I thought he was probably right.

I knew she was down the path about 20 feet and to the left. I spotted her marker from a few sites back because of the “stuff”. I had assumed there would be some interesting stuff left by previous visitors. When I looked down though the first thing that caught my eye were the dates: Feb. 27, 1958 – Oct. 12, 1978.  This is a 20 year old girl. She wanted to die since she was very young.  She was very much a tortured soul from the moment she was born. She was a preemie and was always screaming. She was angry and in agony her whole life.  When her mom saw her in the morgue, she said it was the first time she didn’t see anger in Nancy’s face. She said “she looked like a different person. She wasn’t angry anymore.”  She had the words “Your Odyssey is Over, Sleep in Peace” engraved on Nancy’s tombstone.

I was kind of surprised by what was left at her grave….but kind of not. There was a broken bottle of Rolling Rock, a pack of matches, a bottle cap, some black marbles, a quarter, a half dollar, a bullet casing, a silver bracelet that had a charm “you are loved”, (I liked that), of course there were some stones there too. I wondered how her mother feels when she sees the things people leave at her daughter’s grave. I know she visits. Her husband is buried right next to Nancy. He passed away in 2010. Does she think it’s disrespectful for someone to leave a bullet casing or bottle of beer? Does she mourn for the daughter she never had? I know she feels a sense of relief. Her daughter is no longer in agony. I just don’t know how I would feel if that stuff were left at the grave of my loved one.  I would think she would be shocked at first but then just came to expect it. It’s 34 years later and people are still visiting and leaving items of endearment…no matter how twisted the items may seem, they are from people who love Nancy.

Sid Vicious died a few months later from a drug overdose. His mom said she found a suicide note that read “We had a death pact and I have to keep my half of the bargain. Please bury me next to my baby in my leather jacket, jeans and motorcycle boots. Goodbye.” Deborah Spungen would not allow Sid to be buried with her daughter.  Not only did she think he killed her, he was not Jewish and wasn’t allowed in the cemetery.  But rumor has it Sid’s mom scattered his ashes over Nancy’s grave. She has told people that. So of course I feel like I was visiting Sid AND Nancy.  And of course I felt them both there.